TESTIMONIALS

“When a family member passes, either a family becomes closer, or the family is torn apart; my family is the latter. The passing of my mother was compounded with the fact that the relationships with my eight siblings was beyond repair. I also wasn’t sure I could continue to do my life long work – guiding families through their loved ones’ dementia journey. The thought of meeting a daughter that was losing her mother just seemed too much to endure. Then I started seeing Bernadette, and honestly she saved my life. I found her to possess a comforting presence that immediately put me at ease. Bernadette gently led me to exactly where I needed to go in order to move through my grief, and regain my hope for the future. She helped me learn so much about myself, and helped me make sense out of what I was feeling. She provided a warm and safe environment to share my innermost thoughts of helplessness and grief. I am forever grateful for our work together. I am stronger, I am happier, and I am at peace.”

“My husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s disease at age 52. We grieved the almost daily losses and when he died at age 62 I thought I would too. How would I possibly find my way in this “new world” without him? Reluctantly, I attended bereavement counseling with Bernadette and now wonder how I would have survived without it. She “held the hope” for me that, with her help, I would define a future I could not yet imagine.

And then the unimaginable happened. My dear sister was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and passed away at age 56 soon after the loss of my husband. Bernadette “held the hope” for me once again. I remembered her advice and had confidence that I would survive this time. With Bernadette’s guidance, I have again created a future in which I am whole, only occasionally lost, and can hold the hope myself that I will continue heal and grow.”

“When my husband of nearly thirty years passed away after a 7-year terminal illness, I felt lost, exhausted and fearful. The business that we had owned together began to fade away, my daughter was off at school, and my world seemed to grow smaller every day. When my husband became aware of his illness, I had just begun to recover from my own bout with cancer. Obviously, my family was broken and hurting and confused. I had very little awareness of how to grieve. I found myself isolated, sad, and hopeless. I discovered Bernadette by a stroke of good luck and began counseling with her. We had long conversations about all aspects of my loss. One of the most helpful things she told me early on was that she recognized that I felt that there was no hope in my world, but that there was and that she would hold it for me until I was ready to hold it myself. I didn’t have the strength to do this, so she offered to do it for me. Her ability to offer visualizations that I could use to pull myself away from depression was extremely helpful to me as I worked my way toward accepting and growing from the death of my husband. I learned to see that my life-long ways of handling problems were affecting my ability to accept my current situation. Awareness and a safe environment gave me the chance to recover. Everyone deserves to have an advocate as gifted at helping people in crisis as Bernadette.”

“I came to Bernadette after a series of losses (husband, father, mother) left me mentally and emotionally paralyzed. I could only do the most rudimentary things. Otherwise, I sat on the couch. Nothing that formerly engaged me interested me anymore. I was lonely, but could not bear to be with friends. I was bored, but could not find anything to do that inspired me or gave me a feeling of purpose. I was exhausted most of the time. I came to a point at which I knew I needed to do something different, if I were to change the way I was living and feeling. I remembered times, before these losses, when I was engaged, animated, committed to my life. I wanted that energy, that feeling, but was helpless to find my way on my own.

Bernadette met with me once a week for over a little over a year. She consistently met me at the emotional place I was. She engaged me in the process of finding my way in my own life. She was always present to my reality. Slowly, over time, we explored, expanded, circled through the events, feelings, stories, which simultaneously nurtured me and stood in my way. Bernadette guided me on my life’s journey from grief, depression, and despair, to the place I am now: engaged, committed, animated, energized in the service of my own unique, strange and wonderful life. Without her energy, commitment, knowledge, skill, compassion and plain hard work on my behalf, this would never have happened. This was a collaborative, interactive, dedicated endeavor. Bernadette and I worked hard, together, to save my life. I will always be grateful.”

“The Alzheimer’s Association’s Leatherstocking Regional Office would like to acknowledge Bernadette Winters Bell. She joined us June 28, 2018, at the Holiday Inn in Oneonta, NY to share her wisdom and insight about “Anticipatory Grief for Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregivers.”

The forum’s Speaker-Evaluation opinions about her presentation were all in agreement: Bernadette definitely exceeded our expectations! Her presentation acknowledges that grief happens both in anticipation of and after a loss. Bernadette helped attendees understand the grieving process when dealing with a progressive, cognitive illness and provided hope and support.

We recommend Bernadette to any professional group seeking education regarding anticipatory grief, the grieving process, and life after a loss.”